Things I Learned While Doing Graduate Research Concerning Twitter

Obviously that MA in communications is really paying off...

1. People in fly over states seem remarkably unaffected by the whole body image debate.

The media and a host of parental “councils” complain day after day about too-thin models and photoshop, yet lots of overweight women in fly over states and less fashion-obssessed countries believe that they can be the model for a host of fashion brands. While I would like this to be a reality for them, its a delusion. 

2. Apparently, its a common conception that finding a job is best facilitated through Twitter.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is probably not a great strategy. Additionally, do you think your misspelled tweets will make an employer take you seriously? Get a resume, send an e-mail. Easy Peasy. 

3. Want to be a trending topic on Twitter? Pretend you have cancer. 

Actually, don’t do that. But really, its nice to see the Twitterverse has a heart. 

4. Justin Beiber is REALLY REALLY Popular. 

Obviously, I don’t live in America and I watch television online. Now someone needs to explain to me why he’s popular. 

5. Twitter is helping to perpetuate the myth that leggings are pants. 

I can not tell you how many #todayimwearing posts, contain wearing leggings, yet nothing over them. Here’s a way to think of it: THEY ARE THICK TIGHTS. Put a skirt over that shit. 

6. People have moved the shady knock-off purse business of Canal Street to Twitter. 

@Sam_Shaw, Want a Chanel purse? Just drop $150 in my paypal account. 

Yeah, ok buddy, I get it, it fell off a truck right? No actually, it was made by the trainees of a syrian terrorist cell, looks nothing like the real thing, and the dye will most probably give you cancer. 

7. Most of America is functionally illiterate. 

$ is not a substitute for the letter “s.”